First, let me reiterate that by encouraging the use of TDC, by no means am I retreating from the basic message of this blog: There Is No Such Thing As A Safe Teen Driver. Signing a TDC should never distract a parent from the essential question of whether a teen is ready to be licensed or should get behind the wheel in particular circumstances. A TDC is an upfront agreement about driving conduct, but should not allow an unready teen to drive.
This post provides guidance about how to negotiate, sign, and implement a TDC. The paragraphs in this post will be condensed into instructions for the contract itself, which will be the next (third) post.
- Getting To Yes. In their classic book Getting To Yes, Roger Fisher and William Ury advise that negotiation of any agreement should focus on achieving a mutual objective, interests instead of positions, and “separating the people from the problem.” For a TDC, this means starting with the mindset that the ultimate, mutual goal is the safety of the driver, passengers, and everyone who shares the road with the teen. This should be a cooperative process that ends in achievement, not victory.
- The Need To Compromise. Notwithstanding what I just said, introducing the idea of a TDC to your teen and then starting the negotiation will unleash conflicting forces. As a parent, that is, the person with the keys and thus the power, you must make it clear that negotiating and signing a contract is a non-negotiable part of your teen being allowed to drive, but then you need to show your teen your willingness to be reasonable, to listen, and to accommodate your child’s viewpoint whenever you can. Put another way, a contract is most likely to be followed if both parties give up something substantive; a common definition of a good compromise is a deal that no one likes but everyone accepts as the best that can be done. Therefore, as a parent, you should insist on a contract but not dictate its terms, and remember that an important part of a TDC is the very act of discussing safety issues with your teen.
- Motivation. When explaining to your teen why a contract is essential, mention at least these reasons:
- driving can cause injury, death, damage, and financial liability, and can even result in criminal charges;
- even though state government will allow teens to drive before age 18, parents remain legally and financially responsible for their teen’s driving;
- listing the consequences of misconduct helps deter it; and
- deciding on the consequences of bad driving is better done in a calm setting, before the teen starts, rather than in the aftermath of an accident or a ticket.
- Who? Who signs the contract? Obviously, the teen driver must sign, but the agreement should also be signed by every adult who will have some role in continued training and supervision of the teen’s driving. This may include a relative or neighbor; sometimes it takes a village. Having all responsible adults sign may avoid the teen trying to avoid a suspension by lobbying an adult who did not sign. This step also informs all supervising adults that there is a contract in place.
- When? When to negotiate and sign? My recommendation is to negotiate a draft of the contract when the teen obtains a learner’s permit, so that both teen and supervising adult(s) can keep the proposed terms in mind as the teen progresses through driving instruction; and then finalize and sign the contract when the teen obtains a driver’s license.
- How Long? Most model agreements available on the Internet have no time period or are based on an unstated assumption that the contract lasts until the driver turns 18, when most states relax or remove restrictions on such matters as passengers and curfews. Conversely, a few models treat the initial contract as something to be renegotiated periodically. My thought: the contract should be in effect for a minimum of one year from when the teen becomes a licensed driver (that is, authorized to drive solo) or until the teen’s 18th birthday, whichever is longer, with no reference to renegotiation. Also, it may be advisable, if the teen is licensed while she is age 17, for the contract to remain in place for one full year even if that extends past the 18th birthday. The teen should understand that the agreement will be changed only if state laws change or the family or teen undergoes a major life change (parents separating or divorcing, a geographic move, injury or disability, change in economic circumstances, etc.).
- Principles And Facts. A TDC should start with a list of agreed-upon facts and principles, including why teen driving is dangerous, why the teen and parent(s) are signing the contract, and how the teen has satisfied the state’s requirements for new drivers.
- Consistency With State Law. Every provision needs to be consistent with or stricter than state law. Thus, if the state’s curfew for 16- and 17-year-olds is 11:00 PM, the contract can set an earlier but not later time. Thus, a TDC requires parents and teens to learn their state’s laws.
- Who Can Report Misconduct? Many model TDCs refer only to a ticket or citation issued by law enforcement, but what if a teacher, coach, neighbor, friend, relative, or even a fellow student tells the parent, “I saw your teen texting while driving,” or “I saw several passengers in the car”? What if the parent receives an anonymous tip? This is, I think, a parent’s judgment call, which should be based on whether the report is from a credible source. If your teen protests, and your TDC has identified a mediator (see No. 21), perhaps the mediator can sort things out. But the contract should note that suspensions may result from reports or events other than official, police-issued tickets.
Overlap With State Law. Suppose your teen receives a ticket and a conviction that will result in the state motor vehicle department suspending his license? Must he accept the suspension in your contract and the state’s penalty? I think so. First, the police and state agencies can take weeks or months to process a license suspension; only a parent can invoke the suspension when it is most needed, which is immediately. Second, the teen should understand that parents/families and the police/state government have different interests in safe teen driving, each important. As a matter of deterring misconduct, the teen should understand that a violation may result in two suspensions.- “Suspension” Not “Consequence.” Many contracts on the Internet use the word “consequence” to describe what happens after a violation, but this word is so used for young children that I think “suspension” is better. This word also reinforces that driving is a privilege, not a right.
- Procedure. Another important, up-front clarification is: what does “My driving privileges will be suspended for ‘x’ days” mean? Will the teen hand over his license? Keys? Will the car stay where it is? Will the parent put a lock on the steering column? Specify these procedures.
- No Driving, Or No Solo? A critical decision is whether the teen will lose her privilege of driving solo, or all driving. In other words, will the consequence be to revert to the learner’s permit mode, where the teen may still drive but only with the parent or guardian in the car? There are two schools of thought here. One is that teens need on-the-road experience, and suspending all driving interferes with continued training. Another is that misconduct should result in no driving at all. Also factored here is how the teen, under a suspension, gets to school, a job, or activities. Some parents will say, “You lost your license, you find a ride.” I can’t prescribe an answer here, but urge parents to think through this issue.
- Counting Days. Understand how you will calculate a suspension. One way is to specify the exact number of days, and start Day 1 when the suspension is imposed (and hopefully, agreed upon), and count 24-hour-periods starting then. Thus, if the violation occurs Saturday night, you discuss the situation Sunday morning, and your teen gives up his license on Sunday at Noon for the agreed-on seven days, the suspension ends at Noon the following Sunday.
- Curfew Exceptions. Most state curfew laws have exceptions, such as for school-related activities or employment. If your teen will be invoking one of these exceptions (for example, he has a job that ends after the curfew), write in how this will be handled.
- Non-Driving Matters. Should driving misconduct affect non-driving matters, such as being grounded from social activities, adding household chores, withholding allowances, etc.? Instead of a suspension of driving privileges, what about doing the dishes for a whole week? My recommendation: stick to driving. Driving violations should lead driving suspension or limits. This contract is complicated enough without bringing in non-driving matters.
- Finances. The only exception to No. 16 is finances. A TDC is a good place for a basic statement regarding what part of driving costs will be paid by the parent and by the teen.
- Parent Override. Teens may balk at this suggestion, which in a way undermines the purpose of a written agreement, but parents are ultimately responsible for the safety of their teens, supervision of teen driving requires judgment, and circumstances can arise in the life of a teen where driving will be unsafe. A parent needs to have on-the-spot suspension authority, and a TDC should recognize this. If, for example, a teen has gone on a school field trip, arrived home at 3:00 AM, and wants to drive somewhere at 7:00 AM, parents need to be able to step in to prohibit fatigued driving.
- No Fault. To balance the parent override, the contract should also state that driving privileges will not be suspended for accidents where the teen driver is not at fault. If the teen is stopped at a light and rear-ended, or her car is dented while parked, no consequence should occur. The TDC should say so.
- Technology. If you, as a parent, can afford to install one of the evolving technologies for tracking teen drivers, write this into the contract and make it clear that data from that device can result in a suspension. For example, one device measures the speed of the car and sends the parent an e-mail report if a certain speed is exceeded. State that a report showing speeding will result in a suspension.
- Mediator. As with any contract, disputes may arise about how to interpret some provision, or when a suspension is warranted. Parties to legal contracts use mediators, arbitrators, or judges, so why not a TDC? Identify a third party, with some objectivity and neutrality, whose advice you will seek if there is a disagreement. This is a good opportunity for the parent to let the teen take the lead; try hard to go with your teen’s recommendation.
- Where? Keep one copy of the signed contract in the car, one with each person who signed it, and one with your mediator.
- Already Licensed? Can a TDC be negotiated with a teen who is already licensed and driving? Absolutely. A violation or crash will provide an opening for a parent to insist on one as a condition of further driving, but the best advice is to not delay putting a TDC in place for every teen driver.
Next up: a model TDC.
