On December 6, 2010, those who have been working on safe teen driving in Connecticut during the past few years gathered in the ornate Old Judiciary Room of the State Capitol, to mark the success of the state’s 2008 overhaul of its teen driving laws and the public awareness efforts that followed. The results were summarized in a Connecticut DMV press release: “The state in 2009 saw a 62 percent reduction in fatal crashes involving [16 and 17 year old drivers] when examining a 12 year average since 1997. In the 2009 calendar year the number [of crashes involving a teen driver that resulted in one or more fatalities] dropped to 6 for all of that year.” While nationally highway fatalities have dropped in recent years, Connecticut’s reduction outpaces the rest of the country. While success in public safety is difficult to measure because achievement is accidents that did not happen, in the room that morning, the feeling of accomplishment was palpable.
Twenty-four hours later, on the afternoon of December 7, after school had let out, four teens, aged 15 to 17, three boys and one girl, died in a one-car crash in the eastern Connecticut town of Griswold. Apparently, the 16 year old driver had only a learner’s permit, and thus his driving and his passengers did not comply with the teen driving laws. A fifth passenger was hospitalized; as I post this, his condition has been upgraded to stable.
In the 48 hours following the accident, I had the privilege of appearing on the Connecticut TV affiliates of NBC, CBS and Fox, to talk about how parents, schools, and communities can address the apparent circumstances of the Griswold tragedy – the recurring situation of several teens in a car after school. Here are links to two of them:
http://www.wfsb.com/news/26068030/detail.html
http://www.ctnow.com/videobeta/?watchId=f8a87b63-2cf4-4707-847c-b490453e1fa1
But here on the blog, I can be a bit more expansive and personal, which I am moved to be because of my family’s 50-year association with Griswold. Below, for our friends in Griswold and by extension you who are reading, some thoughts on this incomprehensible tragedy and how we can avoid similar ones.
Dear Griswold,
You ache, and my family aches with you. Like you, we lost a teen driver in a one car accident in early December. When I heard the news of the accident and the location, I could envision the road and the tree, because I have been in and around Griswold for most of my life. For more than 50 years, my parents have been in the neighboring town of Voluntown. My childhood memoires include milk shakes at Pine Cone Dairy Bar, watching planes land at Pachaug Airport, buying vegetables from Frank and Margaret Chinigo, my Dad’s car being repaired at Patrylo’s, watching the cows get milked and apples picked at the Brewster Farm and Orchard, hanging out with the Breen family, and riding a horse at the Apthorp Farm. Today, we buy vegetables at Campbell’s and eat dinner at River Ridge.
I do not know the four families who have lost, and I have no place to comment on the specifics of the December 7 tragedy, because I only know the generic situation, teens in a car after school. I can only offer some thoughts on how communities can try to go forward and prevent similar tragedies, and how you can care for these devastated families.
In earlier posts on this blog, I have talked about ways we can deal with the hours of the day directly after school, which are the most dangerous for teen drivers. At the exit from school parking lots, signs can be posted at the exit from high school parking lots, something like: “Ready to Drive Safely? Seat Belts Buckled? No Illegal Passengers? Great, See you Tomorrow.” Another way to use this strategic location is to post a student volunteer to check on cars as they leave.
Schools can do two things that can be very effective. The first is to post on the school’s website and bulletin board a list of the students who have had their licenses long enough to carry passengers legally and who have not had any serious driving violations (serious means anything more than a parking ticket). This would be simple to prepare and post, and it would give both students and parents an easy way — as easy as opening the browser on their phones — to know at least who is legal. A second task for schools is to be sure that “Parent Permission Forms,” where parents are asked to give permission for their teens to ride to and from school or events with other teens, make specific reference to the state’s passenger restrictions.
Parents have two ways to join in: educating teens about the dangers of passengers, and filling out a teen driving contract that spells out a time period for driving privileges to be revoked if their teen carries an illegal passenger.
These steps will help.
For those caring for these families, I have no magic answers and no professional qualifications, but I do have four years of my family’s own process and the benefit of conversations with hundreds of parents, including those who have lost a teen driver. First, “sympathize with strength, not weakness.” When you try to comfort the families, focus on positive memories of the kids, not the enormity of the family’s loss. Second is to listen. For the most part, those who have lost want to talk. Try to get those who are not talking to do so; shared pain gets distributed and thus easier to bear. You are, literally and figuratively, a shock absorber. Finally, be infinitely patient. Don’t ask these families to “be strong.” Each of the family member is now in shock and this will morph into despair, and then will begin the long process of trying to get to the point where the teen they have lost is an agreeable memory instead of a daily burden. This process will take a very long time. The good news is that I know that the kind-hearted people of Griswold will step up. These families are lucky to have you.
Let’s work together to remember these teens who lost their lives, and to use this tragedy as a reminder that, notwithstanding our recent success as a state, we still have work to do.
Your friend, Tim
