Today would have been Reid’s 22nd birthday.
In this blog, I try not to be emotional or maudlin, but to use the conviction drawn from my experience with the worst case scenario of teen driving to convey to parents clear, sensible advice about keeping their teen drivers safe. But I hope all of you loyal readers — consistently numbering about 5,000 per month and 20,000 to 30,000 hits recently — will indulge me for today as I change the focus slightly, from how to keep your teen drivers safe from why it is so vital to do so.
I have often said that one of the keys to my story is not that I made an obvious mistake in parenting my son when he was driving, but rather that I didn’t. I did what I thought the mainstream literature about teen driving was telling me to do and what I saw other parents doing. Thus, one of the key points of this blog is that following the crowd is not only not enough, but also is really the wrong way to think about supervising your new drivers. Teen driving is so risky that, other than taking the uncommon path of prohibiting your teens from driving until they are 18 or 19 or older — more mature and sensible — constant supervision and doing what relatively few parents do are the mandates.
My wishes on Reid’s birthday are that parents will take the time to educate themselves, to see through the many aspects of popular culture and community that blind or shield us from the absolutely proactive role we need to play with our teen drivers, even if the efforts are perceived by friends and neighbors as overkill; and as a result will be more conservative in their decision-making. This blog’s purpose is to point out what parents should be thinking about day-by-day as they make decisions about their teens getting behind the wheel. My motivation, especially today, is to spare you having birthdays turn into memorials.
My sincere thanks to so many of you who read this blog, pass it on to others, email comments, and apply the information offered here to your own teens. Together, we are making a difference.
This is so sad. from one dad to another, i’m sorry for your loss. I can imagine what it would be like, having come close myself to losing my own boy. He pulled through from birth complications luckily.
thanks for conveying your message, and I will take it when I teach my son to drive.
– tork
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