Seven years ago today, Reid left us too soon.
For a long time — in fact, until recently — I regularly counted the weeks and then months and then years that had passed since that cataclysmic day. I suppose I was trying to defy the passage of time by keeping track of it, making sure that Reid’s memory was not fading, no matter how many days had gone by.
In the past several months, I now realize, I have stopped counting, and the primary reason is that Ellen, Martha and I have witnessed so many of you embrace Reid’s story as part of the cause of safer teen driving. In a very real way, seven years after his passing, Reid’s star is rising. Your enthusiastic support for From Reid’s Dad and now Not So Fast have shown us that you are our partners in tending to Reid’s legacy. It is hard to express how gratifying and comforting this feels.
I have often said that I did not start my From Reid‘s Dad blog or publish Not So Fast as therapy for our family tragedy; I launched into writing because after serving on Connecticut’s Safe Teen Driving Task Force, I was convinced that there is a big gap nationally in the information available to parents of teen drivers, and someone needed to fill it. The motivation has always been, “How can I not do this?”. The blog and book have been public service, not emotional recovery.
But a funny thing happened on the way to the bookstore . If my subliminal goal, shared by so many parents who have lost a child, was to make sure Reid did not die in vain, then this year, it appears that that has been arranged. Reid is becoming one of the national faces of safer teen driving, through the loving help of Our Safe Teen Driving Friends.
This realization was slow to emerge; there was no epiphany or magic moment. Perhaps the September 9, 2013 Launch Party for Not So Fast came the closest – 150 friends gathered to celebrate in a room where, front and center, was a poster of Reid — adorned with balloons.
Our family will always have what the writer Anna Quindlen has called “a chasm deep in the middle of who we are,” a feeling of loss that never goes away. But this year, with your help, we have the distinct sense of something gained, of a counterweight to Reid’s loss. He has become less of a memory and more of mantle. Seven years after he died, Reid is saving lives. It’s a great feeling.
I have debated whether to end this post with a list of those we want to thank, for fear of leaving someone or some organization out, but decided to take the risk. So, by way of giving a shout-out to everyone who has helped with From Reid’s Dad and Not So Fast, from Ellen, Martha and me, THANK YOU ALL:
· Cathy Gillen
· Curt Clarisey
· Joy Tutela
· Everyone at Chicago Review Press and Independent Publishers Group
· Pam Fischer
· The Denver 2013 Lifesavers Conference Focus Group
· Dr. Kelly Browning and Impact Teen Drivers
· Garry Lapidus, Kevin Borrup, Dr. Brendan Campbell, and everyone at Ct Children’s Medical
· Everyone at Kohl’s Stores
· Bill Seymour, Commissioner Currey and the DMV Teen Driving Advisory Committee
· Sherry Chapman and everyone at Mourning Parents Act
· Sandy Spavone, Lindsay Colcombe and everyone at NOYS and FCCLA
· Duby McDowell
· Everyone at Asylum Hill Congregational Church
· Erin Meluso and Roy Bavaro of NOYS and Penny Wells of SADD
· Starrla Penick of MADD
· Bruce Hamilton, Peter Kissinger and Jack Hoch of AAA Foundation
· Diana Dias, Dave Raposa, and Fran Mayko of AAA of Southern New England
· Kathleen Miklus, Friends of the Simsbury Library, and the Ct-N Television Network
· Monika Samtani of WUSA TV in Washington DC
· Dave Wallace, the Traffic Safety Guy
· Bob Green and John Berger of Survive the Drive
· Paula Fahy Ostop and her colleagues at Go Media
· John Dankofsy and everyone at WNPR Radio
· My Shipman & Goodwin colleagues and co-workers, especially our School Law Group and Marketing Department
· Those who have posted reviews on Amazon
· Those who have contributed to Reid’s Memorial Fund over and above buying books
· Publishers Weekly and Library Journal, for the five-star reviews
· Chairman Deborah Hersman, Jenny Cheek and Stephanie Davis of the National Transportation Safety Board
· State Representatives Tony Guerrera, Tim Ackert, and David Scribner
· Administrator David Strickland and everyone at NHTSA, especially Region 1
· Jonathan Adkins and everyone at GHSA
· Allan Williams and Secretary Norman Mineta
· Dr. Bella Dinh-Zarr
· Joe Cristalli, Robbin Cabelus, and Juliet Little of Connecticut DOT
· Pina Violano of Yale-New Haven Hospital
· Kirsten Hawkins and the American Academy of Pediatrics
· Jen Stockburger and Ami Ghadia of Consumer Reports
· Dave Preusser and Neil Chaudhary
· Rick Green and Rose Lichtenfels of the Hartford Courant
· Mark Pazniokas of the Ct Mirror
· The professional driving schools owners and instructors of ADTSEA and NETSEA
· Maureen Vogel everyone at National Safety Council and the Drive It Home website
· Everyone at Ford Driving Skills for Life
· Brandi Anderson Nannini and Jaime Alvis and everyone at the Century Council and IKnowEverything
· Sharon Silke Carty and everyone at AOL Autos and the Huffington Post
· Janette Fennell at Kids and Cars
· Kym Drake and everyone at IDriveSafely
· Melanie Batenchuk at BeCarChic
· Hillary Rettig
· Seth Maloney
· Julie and Lloyd Garner of Project Yellow Light
· Joan Hunt and the Reminder News
· Jim MacPherson, The Car Doctor
· Andrea Obston
· Radio host Mary Jones
· Patrice McCabe and the Ct Association of Boards of Education
Wishing you all of the joys of the holiday season.
